There has definitely been a change in my relationships with women since I started my stand-up comedy career. Holding that microphone is a great release and better than any therapy. Knowing that I air all my personal business on stage to strangers, I now have greater confidence to say almost anything to anyone anytime anyplace - almost.
Having initiated many conversations with many women, I have seen many reactions. You'll never know until you try.
While waiting to cross the street - you may be ignored.
While at a Murray Hill meat market - you may get a number and some puke on your shoe.
While at a funeral - you may be swung at. Swung at, not slapped, 'cause at this point you know when to duck.
You can't quit while you're behind. After all, this is New York. If the woman is rude with an attitude then I don't want to talk to her anyway. I guess God's gift wasn't intended for me. She can share her misery with someone else.
If all goes well, the conversation may be as follows; "I like your belt" "Thanks, I made it." "Cool. You're a belt maker." "That's right. What do you do?" "I'm a comedian" "Get out. That's cool." We talk some more, exchange numbers and make plans to see each other again. The relationship has begun. At first women are intrigued and curious about the life of a comic. They may join you at an open mic. Then check you out at a show, and brag to friends. "So, tell me about the guy you're seeing." "He's a comedian!"
"Cool." "He's really funny." I imagine that's how the conversation would sound.
But, upon the third show they see, the novelty wears off. Finally the rule of threes comes back to haunt the comedian.
They realize that 1. You like to talk about yourself… a lot. 2. You tell the same stories over and over… again and again. 3. You are crazy… and you live at home with your parents.
"Is this what you've been doing every night, instead of going out with me?" Yes. And I love it. You need to change your attitude. We'd never work out anyway. End relationship.
Of course a new one will start. This new girl may come to a show I've produced. When I'm producing a show, I'm running around, coordinating the MC with the comics, the lineup, the drink specials, the email list, the raffles, the music, the seating. I don't have much time to talk to anyone, besides quick hellos. They don't understand the business. "Oh, my God. He didn't talk to me all night. He was ignoring me." I was busy. And I loved it. You need to change your attitude. We'd never work out anyway. End relationship.
Then there are those relationships that are going great. She understands the entertainment business and supports your work. But, then you wake up one evening on her living room couch to find her making out with her ex-boyfriend in the kitchen.
You need to change your attitude. We'd never work out anyway. End relationship.
As a rock band will write a song about an ex, I too will write a joke about one. That's right, if it wasn't for the exes, we couldn't have that "I just broke up with my girlfriend" joke. So, thanks… Where do I go from here? Should I try dating a comic? We'd have a lot of fun.
There's always the internet, but that's another story…
You can e-mail Josh Filipowski at like2laugh@hotmail.com or visit him at www.like2laugh.com.
